The Endless More...

I believe that I am like a bottomless void. I can never be full. I stuff myself, gorging on meat and my choice of two awesome sides, salad, bread with pesto, ice cream, cookies... I cram and chew and swallow until I feel I must surely burst from it. But its not enough! Twelve hours later, I feel empty again, hunger that will gnaw at me forever. I always need more food, endlessly craving, endlessly feeding, always more and more and more. I leave behind me a trail of empty wrappers, skins, rinds, cores, bones, barren fields, destruction, waste...

My mind is the same as my body. I always need more diversion, more amusement, more entertainment, more new music, more knowledge, more books, like a sponge that never ceases absorbing, though oceans wash over it. I finish a book and must immediately find another. I need more, always more, because in my head is the same bottomless void as my stomach, and just as my body requires always more fuel every day, so my mind as well. More and richer ideas, more and fancier words, more and deeper thoughts, more and stronger feelings, a never-ending more of consumption and excretion, this time thankfully invisible, without color or smell, but still, it never stops!

Always more, even in my sleep, my brain requires more: more dreams, more visions, more pillows, more covers, more sleeping and more waking, always endless more! More pleasure, more ecstasy, more love, and unquenchable feeding on warmth, a terrifying thirst for acceptance, always more and more and more!

Why are we like this? Did God make us this way? Like cups that can never be full, balloons full of chemicals that can only grow more and more bloated, until we stretch across the world, into space and beyond, infinite, more.

I am not alone, I know. I live in a culture of perpetually empty stomachs. The More Culture. More freedom, more laws, more rights, more protection, more security, more tolerance, more weapons, and not just more in number, but more powerful, more destructive, more terrifying, always more more more. Buy more cars, more televisions, more computers, more video games, more magazines, more movies, more things on ebay, more stocks, more bonds, more Roth IRAs. Pay more taxes, more fees, more add-ons, more charges.

When is it enough?